Bucket List: Chaney Williams

There’s a point in everyone’s lives that we share, and it’s the end. It’s also known as death, expiring, perishing, departing, flatlining, and, most gruesome of all, kicking the bucket. There are many things I’d like to accomplish in life before then.  There are the obvious things such as: money, power, fame, love, and success; however, I feel that goes unsaid, so what about the weird, crazy, things I’d like to do?

               For starters, I want to travel more. I’ve already been to Europe multiple times, and I want to go again. I also would like to go to China, Japan, or South Korea. It’ll be a while before I can go to China due to political reasons (I doubt I could be quiet at Tiananmen Square where “Nothing happened”), but the other two are possible. I wouldn’t mind going to Australia or New Zealand for the simple reason of just because; however, I can barely stand a flight across the Atlantic, so I’m not going across the Pacific until I can be prescribed sleeping pills that would make Elvis envious.

               Finally, I’d like to use my success to acquire all the land around my home. Now many people would interpret that as “I want a lot of land,” but I mean I want all the land. From the lake to the interstate, I want it. There is a conundrum wherein people are starting to tour Southeastern Oklahoma for its natural beauty, which leads to construction and the destruction of the very beauty they’re selling.  Idealistically, I’m doing this to preserve the beauty, but it’s to keep those people away though the increase in land value is a nice bonus.

               My list is a bit short in all honesty, but it’s simple and, above all else, realistic. Sadly, going to space is still quite far from the average consumer, and Santa isn’t real so why bother going to the North Pole? So, what happens if I die before any of this? Well, if I haven’t acquired the land I’ll simply come back to life because I can rest when I’m dead and I can die when I’m done, and I’m not done. As for the travel, I have an elegant solution. My children will carry my ashes across the world by spending whatever I have saved, and it’s a far better way of achieving closure than a funeral. Truly, I’m trying to put “fun” in “funeral.”